So what makes a Muslim stand out? His appearance, attitude, dress, behaviour and good deeds.
As a suitor and a da'wah carrier, you lead by example and show that you have a message.
The prophet (saw) was travelling to meet some brothers in Islam and he told his companions:
"You are going to visit your brothers, so repair your saddles and make sure you are dressed well, so that you will stand out among people like an adornment, for Allah (swt) does not love ugliness." [Ibn Al-Hanzaliyyah]
The appearance of a man cannot be separated from his inner nature. He has a responsibility. A responsibility to look after himself.
The prophet (saw) said to Abdullah ibn 'Amr:
"Have I not been informed that you fast all day and pray all night?' I said, 'Yes, Messenger of Allah.' He said, 'Do not do it. Fast and break the fast, and sleep and pray. Your body has a right over you, your eye has a right over you, your wife has a right over you, and your visitor has a right over you." [Bukhari & Muslim]
That's right . . your body, has a right over you.
Now you get those who go way over the top and you get those who outright neglect themselves. The key is moderation.
Lets break it down a little . .
Appearance
Dress properly. No doubt, branded goods cost. A sense of style on the other hand doesn't. I suppose I could write an essay on the how to and how not to dress but I'm sure you've all got an individual sense of fashion. Besides, that's not my intention hehe :)
The Muslim man is very clean. He should wash regularly and follow the Sunnah of the prophet(saw). He shouldn't have any unpleasant smells coming from himself or his clothes.
You should look after your hair and beard. there's a narration where the prophet (saw) compared an unkept persons characteristics to the shaytaan. Thus, it's extremely important to fix up and look presentable.
That's right boys, if you want to go out and buy a hair straightener, go treat yourselves today!
*Ahem*
So . . lets continue . .
Body and Health
Look after your body. For it has a right over you. I really can't emphasise this enough.
A few guidelines I stick by:
- Eat Breakfast - Energy from the first hour and you tend to be less hungry throughout the day. It also sets the trend for the day. One tends to eat healthier.
- Eat whole foods 90% of the time - Whole foods are unprocessed/unrefined (or a little). Examples: Fresh meat, fish, eggs, veggies, fruit, rice, oats, nuts etc . .
- Eat small but often - You feel fuller and it stops you from having unnecessary cravings and overeating when you do go for that one huge meal. Yes, we're all guilty of it!
- Protein and Fuits/Veg with each meal - You need protein to help build/maintain muscle and fruit/vegs are full of the good stuff and usually low in calories.
- Drink water - Prevents dehydration and helps you control what you eat with each meal.
I'm a big fan of Boxing/Weight, Resistance, Isometric, Plyometric Training. Do something that works for you. Schedule something you can stick to. Contrary to popular belief, you can spend 35 minutes in the gym and still build muscle mass. There's this false perception you must spend hours to see a return. Something is better than nothing.
Final Words
Look good and be good. You will be more active, attractive, confident, energetic, empowered and fly™.
Go out there and present the deen of Allah the way it should be done. Be prepared to be distinguished by your appearance, dress, behaviour and good deeds. Lead by example. Excel in all areas. You are the full package. Ready to find the wifey.
Peace out :)
GQ, Assalamu alaikum:
ReplyDeleteJust a quick note that the facebook idea is great, I'll get to it one day inshAllah. Great post here, and Eid Mubarak!
Q
Nothing (in my opinion) is more attractive then a brother with a good walk and an abundance of good deeds and smiles ;0)
ReplyDeleteNice post! Great points. As you've said, moderation is the key.
ReplyDeleteJust like to add, guys should throw away their red t-shirts with white stripes or at least not wear them in pictures meant to be seen by a prospective spouse. It looks damn ugly. For some strange reason I've come across too many guys posting pics in those shirts.
Here's an example: http://www.dollsofindia.com/dollsofindiaimages/saris3/red_shirt_KG43_l.jpg
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_W6ObpiSezSE/StHnAa4E_NI/AAAAAAAACIw/YP97k7wp8p0/s320/DSCF0630.jpg
Okay, so the 1st looks more magenta than red but you get the idea.
hey, check out my new approach on my blog! : D
ReplyDeleteQ
I met this potential brother in person after getting to know him over the phone. We share a lot of the same thinking and beliefs. So, when I met him I didn't find any attraction, (1)he didn't talk to me much, basically he ran out of ideas to talk about, (2)Did not dress well at all (3) didn't seem to care about his looks- very over weight. I didn't find him that impressive. I felt sad because I had so much in common with him, and I thought I would feel this connection. He didn't talk to me in way when we talked on the phone. There was a lot of dead silence, which I hated and I cannot picture myself with him being married, if he doesn't talk. What am I to do? He is telling me to give him a chance. But I got turned off when I met him because the way he carried himself.
ReplyDeleteAssalamu Alaikum,
ReplyDeleteIt seems the nerves hit him.
I can tell you this - It's possible to get that 6-pack within a reasonable amount of time. Its easy to change your dress sense over night. But how easy is it to change your innate characteristics?
In short, give him another opportunity and in a nice way tell him to clean up his act. Remind him, marriage isn't a one street. The guy must also look after himself for the reasons I listed and to please his spouse.